from little things big things grow

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Milk machine and sucker fish

Breastfeeding continues to hold surprises for me. I'm impressed that bub and I have been doing this for 8 months now. At the same time it just feels normal. However it is anything but routine.

Initially bub enjoyed two hourly feeds with the occasional feedfest, or cluster feed as it is technically known. At that time I was happy to go with the flow, knowing eventually it would change. Her feeds were quick (about 2mins) so it wasn't like I was stuck on the recliner all day.

When it did change I was surprised to find myself grieving. I was sad that she wanted food instead of milk. The feeds would be closer to four hours apart. Instead of feeling liberated I felt like something was missing. Hormones are crazy things.

Then bub changed again and wanted to nurse all through the night. Instead of being upset over sleep disruptions I was thrilled that she was fiercely nursing again. Now she is sick with the flu and wants to sleep at night and feed-sleep through the day. Nothing is set in stone.

Because of all these changes my milk supply is yet to settle. It hasn't reduced greatly, so occasionally, like this morning, I wake up with a rock hard boob, and have to express some milk for comfort. And to avoid mastitis. Important.

Some of the other surprises have more to do with bub. Sometimes she wants to stand up while feeding. Other times her little hand seeks out my nose or ear. Sometimes it's necessary for her hand to be in my mouth while she feeds. Other times she wants me to hold her feet. Lately she has started to pinch me. If I sing while she feeds she will smile and let milk run down her face.

I call myself the milk machine. And she is the little sucker fish that attaches itself, and comes and goes at her whim.

For now.

Friday, May 17, 2013


The baby said her first words this week. She is just shy of 8mo but she is careening through her milestones like a thrill seeker in New Zealand - everything and now.

I'm not even sure how I am keeping up with her. It took me a day before I realised that she had said her first word. She had been saying bub bub bub and I was even repeating it back to her. But it wasn't until the next day that it sunk in. Oh! First word! 

Sleep has been so shaky lately, but with all this development it's no wonder. Sometimes she sits up at night in her sleep and then wakes with a fright - like, how did I get here?!

I think my brain is operating in first gear. I've heard the term mumbie - a mum version of zombie. Walking around sleep deprived in search of coffee, sounds like me. I wonder how many other milestones will bypass me?

Skye is crawling more and exploring her toys. I like these brief moments of independent play. I get to do important tasks like clean the high chair, repack the nappy bag or take some photos. These are much easier on the body than holding her hands so she can speed walk around the house.

I have to relax my back and shoulders and do a bit of 'being in the moment' when the walking is happening. Soon she will do it herself. 

We also started swim lessons. It's taken me four months to get around to it! I was overwhelmed with worries like how to manage showers and change time afterwards. But we talked about it and I realised if dadda comes too then those things can be managed quite easily. And maybe in a month or so I will have worked out the rhythm of it. 

We are due to go to our next lesson right now, but Skye is asleep. I feel like I'm living a cliche - babies enter each day on their own terms! 

Every day is both wonderful and terrifying!

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Why my daughter smiles

I saw this title on the lovely nurshable blog recently and thought I would try my own version out. I think this would make a great join in, so if you're inspired perhaps join in with your own...